With all the talk of the fountain of youth and the pursuit of longevity, it’s easy to think that people want to live forever. But is that true? Seniors Guide writer Terri L. Jones shares her own desires and at others’ thoughts on how long they really want to live.
Recently, I had an appointment with my rheumatologist to discuss new medications for my osteoporosis. He told me that he wasn’t worried about me fracturing a bone now (I’m 65), but because I might have close to 30 years ahead of me, I’d be at risk for falls and fractures down the road. When he said, “30 years,” my immediate response was “I hope not!”
While we’re living longer than our parents these days, we’re not necessarily living healthier. What was promised to be our “golden years” are often plagued by cancer, lung disease, heart disease, diabetes, high cholesterol, decreased mobility, and hearing problems, along with a host of other ailments.
Both of my parents suffered with debilitating diseases in the last seven or eight years of their lives and died in their early to mid-80s. Although the CDC predicts that my actual life expectancy is 85, if my parents’ fate – or a much worse one – is in store for me, I’m fine with my own swan song being much sooner. I wondered if my peers felt the same way.
A Pew Research survey found that on average Americans want to live to the ripe old age of 91; however, that’s not the whole story. Some anecdotal research added nuance to that survey result. When I looked into when other seniors wanted to leave the planet, I discovered that most have no interest in outliving their health as well as their independence and joy in life. Here’s a sample of what some had to say:
- I’d like to live to 85 as I fear that is the age where I could get a disease that would limit my mobility or mental health. I don’t want to live in an elder care facility … while the facility drains my money or just exist without joy or mobility. I would rather die before then or at the onset of any debilitating condition.
- Being unable to work on the things I love to do, being weak, having to depend on others to change my Depends undergarments sounds like absolute hell to me. I’d rather die than live like that.
- I have no specific number in mind. I’d like to live as long as I am healthy, no burden to others, and enjoying quality time with family and friends.
- As long as I’m in good health and life feels worth living. Another part of the equation is that the world can feel like a pretty dark place these days. I’d like to stick around as long as there is joy to be had, and hopefully that will always be true.
- So, I am days away from 76. I want to live as long as I can be active and enjoying my good health, family, and friends every day. Quality over quantity!
- Presently at age 71 and finally coming to realize that my 70s are going to be my toughest decade ever. Present goal is to be into my 80s but only if I’m capable of being able to do things (garden, hiking, taking care of the dogs, etc.). If it comes down to just sitting in a chair drooling and pissing myself, just let me die. I don’t fear death; I’m just not in a hurry for it.
- I want to live as long as my brain works. I don’t care if I lose mobility and physical activity. I want to see my grandkids and great grandkids grow up. But if I’m not mentally capable of enjoying them, I’m OK riding off into the sunset.
For me, life is about purpose, relationships, and staying motivated to see and do. When I start to feel like I’ve lost those important elements of life, that’s when I want to cede my tiny bit of space on this planet to someone else. As the old saying goes, “In the end, it’s not the years in your life that count. It’s the life in your years.”
