Solo Ager Worries About Future

R. Eric Thomas | August 31, 2026

A solo ager worries about her future as she sits on a couch.

With no spouse, children, or siblings, a solo ager worries about what her future will be like. Advice columnist Eric Thomas weighs in.

Dear Eric:

I am a 59-year-old woman who has no children. I have never married and I do not have any siblings.

I have a few ailments that require doctors’ appointments.

I lost my parents years ago.

My question to you is this: Who will be there for me when I am no longer able to care for myself?

I don’t have any good friends. The friends I had in my 20s were not as wonderful as I thought they were. We all went our separate ways. I found out that I was one of the two that were left out of the circle. My mother had gotten into some trouble when I was 35. Those friends of mine dropped me like a hot potato.

I know that they are all still sharing their lives due to social media.

I was too busy having fun and now it isn’t fun anymore. I am afraid that I will wind up in a nursing home. That scares me and depresses me. Do you have any suggestions?

– Don’t Want to Be Alone

Dear Alone:

While I acknowledge and understand the situation in which you find yourself is scary, I encourage you to think about the path before you as a partial new beginning. Your life is not what it once was, but your life is not over.

What you’re lacking at the moment is meaningful connection with others. You may not find it in the same ways or with the same structure as you did when you were younger, but it is possible. Social groups, religious organizations, community centers, and support groups can all provide you with connection and support. Remember that deep friendships take time and energy, so don’t be discouraged if you don’t find the connections you’re seeking right away.

Depending on your medical needs, you might also talk with your doctor, a social worker, a financial planner, or a senior life manager about how to set yourself up for the future. For instance, it may be of interest to you to move to a senior community in the next decade, which can provide social support, medical care when needed, and community. If a senior living community isn’t within your means, talking about your goals and concerns with others may point you to options that meet your needs and will help you feel more secure about the future.

R. Eric Thomas (he/him) is a national bestselling author, playwright, and screenwriter. His accomplishments include “Eric Reads the News,” a daily humor column covering pop culture and politics, serving as the interim Prudie for the advice column “Dear Prudence,” and “Congratulations, The Best Is Over.”

Send questions to eric@askingeric.com or P.O. Box 22474, Philadelphia, PA 19110. Follow him on Instagram and sign up for his weekly newsletter at rericthomas.com.

Like this advice about solo ager worries, read more life guidance – from feeling stuck after a diagnosis, dividing belongings after death, conflict over parents’ move, changing health care proxy, and more:
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