What becomes of your treasured heirlooms when you’re downsizing? Family members may want some, but what about the rest?
Advice columnist Eric Thomas shares some ideas.
ORIGINALLY PUBLISHED JAN. 26, 2026; UPDATED ON FEB. 17 AND MARCH 12, 2026, WITH READER REPLIES
Dear Eric:
My husband and I have lived in our very spacious, comfortable, lovely home for many years. I am in my 80s. My husband is 90. We are each fortunately in reasonably good health. At times we talk about downsizing, perhaps moving to a retirement community.
Over the years, at home and in our travels, we have accumulated art, antiques, furnishings, some of which may have significant value, others not much at all.
Our children may want some things, but a good deal would remain. How and where do folks in our circumstances find out what items are worth, who and how to consult?
– Heirlooms and More
Dear Heirlooms:
For many years, the television series “Antiques Roadshow” has been helping people like you answer that exact question. But you needn’t wait for your spot in front of the camera. Depending on the nature of your collection, the items in your house may be of interest to an art gallery, an antiques dealer, a vintage store, or a secondhand reseller. You may have a collection that is of interest to an auction house.
When thinning out your belongings, enlist your children’s help in categorizing your belongings by type – art vs. antiques vs. furniture, for instance. Tell them that they can lay claim to whatever they want, but you want their assistance in reaching out to professionals who help you appraise everything else. Involving them starts the conversation about what you’re going to pass down to them, but it also gives you support to keep from getting scammed. This isn’t the kind of project where they’d need to be there every day. But they can do the leg work of finding the kind of gallery that specializes in the kind of art you collect, for instance.
If you’d prefer to get the ball rolling on your own, I’d start by having an informational conversation with a local antiques dealer you like. They can walk you through their collection process, things they look out for, and ways that you can expedite the process. They’d likely be willing to walk through your house with you and give you ideas for next steps, as well.
Still puzzled about disposing of heirlooms when downsizing?
A knowledgeable reader adds to the conversation:
Dear Eric:
I would like to expand on your answer to “Heirlooms and More” regarding where collectors can go to gather information on the value of their antiques and other items.
Certified appraisers are the best source for appraisals of valuable possessions. These individuals have specialties in different collecting areas and can provide up-to-date valuations under different scenarios such as replacement, auction and retail shop value. Collectors can research appraisers online by visiting the websites of the Appraisers Association of America (AAA), American Society of Appraisers (ASA) and the International Society of Appraisers (ISA). Appraisers should not charge a percentage of the items’ value nor offer to purchase any items since both these activities can affect the valuation provided.
Major auction houses periodically offer free appraisal days. Finally, there are various price guides (Kovels, for example) that can be consulted which report values of different objects sold at auctions, shows, flea markets and shops.
Local antique dealers are usually not helpful unless the dealers are specialists in the collecting area of the items’ owners. In general, collectors should have an appraisal completed by a certified appraiser before approaching any prospective buyers of their objects. Knowledge is the best tool to ensure the items are sold at prices commensurate with their value.
– Fair Appraisal
Dear Appraisal:
Thank you for this very thorough insight. Other readers also suggested that the letter writer reach out to a professional downsizer, who might be able to help them get organized and connect the family with an appraiser. There are many good options. I appreciate your comment.
Another knowledgeable reply
A professional adds to the conversation:
Dear Eric:
I was reading a column of yours where a senior couple was asking about downsizing and distributing the many articles (art, antiques, furnishings et cetera) they have collected over the years in their home.
I actually work with some companies that do exactly that. Our profession is called “Senior Move Managers” and there is now actually an association called National Association Of Senior Move Managers.
I am a retired nurse who loves working with seniors, and I am always a little surprised when I tell people what I do (part time) that they have never heard of the service. Believe me, I will definitely be using such a service myself in the not-too-distant future!
Moving is always difficult, and especially so for seniors. It really becomes overwhelming with all the decisions to be made and what to do with all their belongings. Many managers can pre-sort, give or ship items to family members, use donation centers, help lay out a floor plan for the
new residence, pack them and unpack them. I just wanted to give you that information because I think it is a very much needed service, especially for seniors!
– Senior Move Manager
Dear Manager:
Thanks for sharing this resource. Personally, I’ve had wonderful experiences with senior move managers. And I often get letters from children struggling to help their parents downsize and other seniors facing life transitions. I think a lot of readers will appreciate knowing about this possibility, whether for themselves or for a loved one.
R. Eric Thomas (he/him) is a national bestselling author, playwright, and screenwriter. His accomplishments include “Eric Reads the News,” a daily humor column covering pop culture and politics, serving as the interim Prudie for the advice column “Dear Prudence,” and “Congratulations, The Best Is Over.”
Send questions to eric@askingeric.com or P.O. Box 22474, Philadelphia, PA 19110. Follow him on Instagram and sign up for his weekly newsletter at rericthomas.com.
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