It’s human to fret over the future, even over unlikely possibilities. Seniors Guide writer Terri Jones looks the basics of worry. Is worrying always bad? Can we control it?
Worrying is in my DNA. Both my mother and grandmother agonized incessantly over their children, their homes, their aches and pains, the weather, money, and pretty much whatever entered their orbit during their lifetimes. Apparently, they passed that worry gene onto me, and I’ve spent a good part of my adulthood fretting over anything and everything. The likelihood of most of my worries coming to pass (my dog drinking some coffee out of my cup and having a seizure) has been slim to none, but I’ve still obsessed ad nauseum about the possibility nonetheless!
The good, the bad, and the ugly basics of worry
Worry can certainly serve a positive purpose by forcing you to focus on possible problems and find solutions to resolve those problems. For example, if you develop a pain that doesn’t go away, worry motivates you to go to the doctor to diagnose the problem and get treatment.
Sandra Llera, PhD, associate professor of psychology at Towson University, explains that you may also worry “as a way to feel emotionally prepared for negative outcomes.” If things do end badly, you’re braced for it and won’t experience as negative a reaction.
However, worry is often not a constructive emotion, according to Jim Taylor, psychologist specializing in sports and parenting. “Worry can morph from that healthy, practical form of concern and vigilance to a preoccupation with perceived threats that are incredibly unlikely or not particularly threatening.”
When you become this focused on perceived threats, it can change the tenor of your life in a negative way. Personally, I’ve had many days when worry has consumed me and kept me from enjoying time with family and friends. In the end, the problem I worried about never even came to pass. In hindsight, these days of rumination have been a huge waste of time and energy and a downer for me and those around me.
You can worry yourself sick
While the belief that worrying and stress can cause ulcers isn’t true (although they can make symptoms worse), you can “worry yourself sick” in other ways. Constantly stewing over situations in your life can affect your mental health, causing depression and anxiety disorders, as well as your physical health. Some impacts include suppressing your immune system, causing hypertension and cardiovascular disease, bringing on GI issues like heartburn and constipation, triggering tension headaches, and negatively impacting your cognitive performance.
Chronic worrying may also interfere with your appetite, sleep, and relationships. When you constantly have a feeling of doom, you also may seek relief or comfort from by overeating, smoking, or using drugs or alcohol.
The basics of worry: 8 ways to control it
Even if you are predisposed to worrying like me, you can take steps to gain control of this emotion and prevent it from taking over your life … and ultimately, your happiness.
1. Think positively.
When you begin to worry about something, counter those negative thoughts with positive ones. Research has shown that feeling positive can significantly reduce anxiety and worry. In fact, there’s a lot of evidence to suggest that the brain cannot experience gratitude and worry simultaneously.
2. Write it down.
Making a list of your worries can help you differentiate between those that are realistic and those that aren’t. That way you don’t waste energy on concerns that are unfounded. As Winston Churchhill once said, “When I look back on all these worries, I remember the story of the old man who said on his deathbed that he had had a lot of trouble in his life, most of which had never happened.”
3. Allot time.
Set aside 10 to 15 minutes a day to focus on what’s eating you. After that time is up, try to sweep those worries aside so you can resume a calmer, peaceful mindset.
4. Distract yourself.
If I find myself obsessing over something, I try to lose myself in a good book, a puzzle or game, or a new crochet project – something that demands my full attention. Even if it’s only for a short period, you’ve defused your anxiety and kept it from spiraling out of control.
5. Accept what’s out of your control.
You may get cancer or lose your job one day. There may even be another global pandemic or world war. However, you can’t predict any of these events and your control over them is minimal; therefore, worrying about them will only lead to feelings of anxiety and helplessness.
6. Exercise regularly.
Aerobic exercise and strength training can be very effective in helping your body deal with stress and anxiety. Just a walk when you’re feeling worried can help you clear your head and put things in perspective.
7. Practice relaxation and mindfulness techniques.
Worry revolves around a situation that may or may not happen in the future. By focusing your mind solely on what is happening in the present moment, through activities like meditation,yoga, abdominal breathing, and even prayer, you’re taking power away from those fears of what may come.
8. Talk to a professional.
Therapy can help identify the thoughts and beliefs causing your anxiety and allow you to develop appropriate coping strategies to deal with them. Your primary care doctor may also prescribe medication such as anti-anxiety drugs or antidepressants when needed to help you manage chronic worry and anxiety.
Knowing the basics of worry and ways to control it can help improve your quality of life. For most of us, it isn’t possible to stop worrying altogether. The key is to try to control it as much as we can. Because unless we do, it will control us. As Corrie ten Boom, whose family helped hide many Jews during World War II, wrote, “Worrying does not empty tomorrow of its troubles. It empties today of its strength.”
