Monthly Visits Extend Your Life

Studies show that monthly visits with close friends or family will help extend your life. Seniors Guide writer Eric J. Wallace looks at the research and expert advice in getting your healthy dose of socializing.

It may sound too good to be true, but recent findings from researchers at the University of Glasgow, UK, published in the peer-reviewed journal BioMed Central Medicine, show that even just one in-person visit a month with a good friend or family member can help you live longer. What’s more, while science has previously tied strong social habits to better later-in-life health outcomes, the nearly 500,000-person study revealed that time spent with close friends and family is significantly more important than other forms of social engagement.

“The new research investigated the potential effects of different types of social interaction on lifespan,” writes veteran UK health correspondent, Rachel Hosie, in Business Insider. Factors like frequent video calls with grandchildren, weekly participation in a group setting, and not living alone helped. But never being visited by friends and family was associated with a stunning “39% increased risk of death.”

And even a lone monthly visit was enough to curb the results. Mental health professionals call the information both a boon and potential wakeup call for health-savvy seniors.

“Life after 60 demands a conscious and deliberate effort to foster friendships and sustain connections,” asserts neuroscience columnist and clinical psychiatrist, Eva Ritvo, in Psychology Today. “The research is quite clear: Those with solid friendships and dependable social circles don’t just feel better – they actually live longer, healthier lives.”

How to ensure those monthly visits that help extend your life

Here, we explore a few tips and tricks from veteran counselors like Ritvo that will help you work in more health-boosting visits with friends and family.

Don’t wait: reach out now

The bustle, twists, and turns of life can make it easy to fall out of touch with former friends, work colleagues, and even family as we get older. Long interludes without contact can introduce a sense of estrangement to relationships and bring feelings of awkwardness or embarrassment about reaching out. Geographic distance can create further hurdles.

But don’t let worries and fears paralyze action. Make a list of friends and family you’d like to reconnect with, then call them on the phone, send a text message, comment on a social media post, or mail a card to break the ice.

“Don’t assume your interest isn’t welcome,” writes Temma Ehrenfeld, a health and psychology columnist for Psychology Today. Old friends are more likely to connect with you more quickly than new acquaintances, and research has shown people “greatly appreciate even a short text or cheerful GIF if it’s unexpected. The most likely response is: ‘What a lovely surprise to hear from you! You made my week.’”

Ehrenfeld suggests starting with a note of gratitude about what the friendship meant to you or a fond shared memory. Feel things out and focus your energies on follow-up interactions with those that seem the most receptive.

Make family visits easier and more convenient

The key to filling your schedule with more visits with family often distills to convenience. The abundance of free time that comes with retirement can sometimes make it hard to recall the relentless demands of workaday life and raising kids, which may create conflicts with your adult children or other family members. Instead, seek to empathize with their responsibilities and time constraints, and make your time with them more helpful.

If you live close by, for instance, you could offer to host a bi-weekly family dinner at your home or cook a meal ahead of time, then heat it up at their place. Offering to babysit, pick up kids from sports practice, or take teenagers clothes shopping is a great way to regularize visits with grandchildren. If you can afford it, you could treat everyone to a monthly dinner at a favorite restaurant or plan annual long-weekend vacations. Mobility-appropriate activities like gentle landscaping, gardening, or home improvement projects also bring opportunities to socialize while pitching in.

If your adult kids live farther away, focus on scheduling more quick and helpful two-day visits centered around events like a high school play, decorating project, or birthday party. You can also plan for brief stop-ins for coffee, lunch, or dinner when en route to somewhere else.

Embrace short casual visits with friends and keep an open mind

In planning monthly visits to help extend your life, don’t overlook casual contact. Routine and mutually beneficial casualness goes a long way toward maximizing face-to-face interactions with friends.

Look for areas of shared interest like cooking, art, card games, bicycling, or simply taking a walk in the park with your dogs, and try to plan regular visits based around those. You could suggest weekly or even monthly get-togethers with a bestie to catch up over a glass of wine. Even something as simple as teaming up with a pal to help clean house now and then can be a great excuse for conversation and laughter.

Remember to tell your buddies you deeply value their friendship, “and don’t hesitate to nurture new relationships with people of all ages,” concludes Ritvo. “These connections form your bedrock of resilience, protecting your physical and emotional health, enhancing happiness, and even prolonging your life.”