A woman has ignored doctors and chosen her own health remedies for years. Now she’s facing health and financial issues from self-medicating. Her siblings ask advice columnist Eric Thomas about talking to her regarding her erroneous beliefs and her financial future.
Dear Eric:
My 80-year-old sister (I’ll call her Jane) doesn’t have much faith in doctors but is free with her own remedies for everyone else’s ailments (mostly vitamins, herbs and supplements). We used to refer to her as Dr. Jane behind her back because she had a vitamin for every health problem.
Jane developed problems walking and is now in a nursing home. It turns out Jane has been taking eight B-100 vitamin supplements a day for years. The percentage daily value of vitamin B-6 in one pill is 5882 percent. She has no feeling in her lower extremities whatsoever and we doubt she will ever walk again.
My brother tried to suggest to Jane that the vitamins and her self-medicating were the likely cause of her problem, but Jane is adamant vitamins can’t harm you. She is running out of money for the nursing home bill and is going to have to sign over her house and go on public aid. We have been shielding Jane from the fact that she’s most likely going to lose her house. Should we go ahead and tell her?
And please tell me how to handle myself when she tells me vitamins had nothing to do with her condition. I am going to have a hard time keeping myself from screaming “you did this to yourself!” I love my sister but dealing with her situation is difficult.
– Not the Remedy
Dear Remedy:
There are more pressing issues for Jane, and for the family, than who is right about proper vitamin intake and self-medicating, so I’d advise that you not engage with her about that at all. There are already enough doctors providing “Dr.” Jane care and counsel. Stepping into the debate, even just to express your frustration, is only going to cause upset. There’s no upside.
Instead, focus on having a grounded and frank conversation with her about her financial position. It does her a disservice to hide this information. Her life has changed dramatically and she’s going to need the truth in order to make wise decisions. Consider reaching out to a financial planner or a social worker who can guide her through the process of setting up long-term care. In finances, as with medicine, we make the most informed decisions with input from experts.
R. Eric Thomas (he/him) is a national bestselling author, playwright, and screenwriter. His accomplishments include “Eric Reads the News,” a daily humor column covering pop culture and politics, serving as the interim Prudie for the advice column “Dear Prudence,” and “Congratulations, The Best Is Over.”
Send questions to eric@askingeric.com or P.O. Box 22474, Philadelphia, PA 19110. Follow him on Instagram and sign up for his weekly newsletter at rericthomas.com.
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