The death of a loved one is difficult enough without disrespectful cemetery staff adding to the grief. One such family is facing that experience, so advice columnist Eric Thomas weighs in.
Dear Eric:
Last year my father’s funeral was ruined at the local cemetery because of a rude and disrespectful security guard employed by them, who yelled at and became belligerent with my family for no reason. Subsequent complaints to management resulted in frustration with the cemetery boss sticking up for the guard. At no point did anyone from the cemetery apologize to me or my family.
Soon after, the cemetery also completed the grave picture wrong, and another manager refused to listen, raised her voice and was nasty when I inquired about it via phone. More recently, my father’s vase flowers were desecrated with construction material, but the cemetery again denies any wrongdoing, saying it’s just regular wear and tear. It’s an outdoor mausoleum. Cemetery management has been disrespectful and hurtful since day one. I would like some advice, please.
– Grieving Son
Dear Grieving Son:
I’m sorry you’re going through this while trying to navigate grief. It’s surely frustrating and painful. Document what you can through photos and saved correspondence and file a complaint with the Better Business Bureau (bbb.org). I should warn you that this isn’t an instant cure-all. The BBB can’t force a business to make things right with you, but many businesses do respond to complaints filed with the organization.
Also, if it’s feasible, consider saving up to move your father to another cemetery so that you don’t have to deal with this disrespectful cemetery management in perpetuity.
R. Eric Thomas (he/him) is a national bestselling author, playwright, and screenwriter. His accomplishments include “Eric Reads the News,” a daily humor column covering pop culture and politics, serving as the interim Prudie for the advice column “Dear Prudence,” and author of “Congratulations, The Best Is Over!” Send questions to R. Eric Thomas at eric@askingeric.com or P.O. Box 22474, Philadelphia, PA 19110. Follow him on Instagram and sign up for his weekly newsletter at rericthomas.com.
For more like this advice on dealing with disrespectful cemetery staff, check out the Boomer Advice for Life department and more wisdom in Seniors Guide, like chaotic housemates, demanding live-in-mothers, and friends disappearing after dementia.