Assisted living is a common option for many older adults, especially when living independently becomes more challenging due to mobility or health needs. But for couples, what happens when one partner needs extra care? Can couples live together in assisted living?
For senior partners, it can be emotionally taxing to figure out whether they’ll separate or stay together when one needs to move into assisted living. The good news is that some communities allow couples to live together, though it often depends on care needs and community type.
Can couples live together in assisted living communities?
In some cases, yes. Couples may explore several options, depending on the community. The biggest variable is often the varying levels of care between couples.
Assisted living typically bases care on the level of help a resident needs with activities of daily living (ADLs), such as bathing, dressing, and medication management. If a couple has varying levels of care, that can affect the type of community they live in and the costs.
Living options
For older couples who want to stay together in assisted living, here are some potential options to explore:
Shared assisted living apartment
In a shared apartment, the couple lives together in the same unit. One or both partners can receive care services in the apartment. This choice is best for couples with similar and/or manageable care needs.
Assisted living and memory care on the same campus
In this “campus-style” setup, one partner lives in assisted living while the other one receives memory care.
Continuing Care Retirement Communities (CCRCs) or Life Plan Communities offer multiple levels of care on one campus. Partners can transition between these levels as their health needs change without having to move to an entirely new, unfamiliar setting. In addition, there can be opportunities visit often with one another and engage in shared activities.
Shared memory care suite
Some assisted living communities may allow couples to live together when one or both partners require memory care. Companion suites offer accommodations like one- or two-bedroom units, allowing couples to maintain companionship during long-term, specialized care.
Different units, same community
In this scenario, couples may choose or be placed in separate apartments or suites but remain in closer proximity. This option offers a balance between independent living and giving partners opportunities to spend time in each other’s company.
What determines if couples can live together?
Several factors determine whether or not a senior couple can share living quarters in assisted living.
These include:
- Level of care required
- Assisted living offers various levels of care, and if both partners have minimal care needs, they may be able to stay together. However, if one partner requires significant care based on cognitive function and physical ability, it can affect which type of living arrangement is best.
- Community policies
Not all assisted living communities allow partners to cohabitate. There may be licensing or safety concerns that prohibit couples from living together in the community.
Safety and well-being
In memory care, shared living is rarely permitted because dementia can sometimes cause behaviors like agitation, aggression, or wandering, which may make sharing a unit less safe.
Benefits of staying together in the community
If shared assisted living is an option for older couples, it may offer several benefits, including:
- Emotional support
- Reduced loneliness
- Health benefits, such as improved mood and cognitive function
- Better adjustment to the community
- Continuity of relationship and routines
Possible challenges
There are also a few downsides to consider:
- Care needs may shift over time: One partner may later require more advanced care, which will affect costs and change living arrangements.
- Cost: Prices for shared assisted living may be higher because there will be two occupants per unit, plus individualized care fees.
- Emotional strain: Adjusting to varying levels of independence can take an emotional toll on senior couples.
What are the cost considerations?
The national median monthly cost of assisted living is estimated at around $6,200, or $74,000 annually. Factors such as location, living space size, and care plans can affect pricing. For senior couples who wish to stay together in a community, their monthly costs may increase, since communities charge per resident. If one partner requires little to no assistance, this may be something worth discussing if there’s a budget set aside for long-term care.
Tips for choosing the right community for couples
If you want to pursue shared assisted living with your partner, here are some tips to help guide you through the process:
- Ask about policies regarding couples upfront.
- Consider CCRCs if you’re looking for a community that supports single-family homes and the range of care needs.
- Take tours of assisted living and memory care units.
- Ask how transitions are managed if care needs change.
- Get clarity on the price differences for couples vs. individuals.
Questions to ask the communities
During phone calls and tours, don’t hesitate to ask as many questions as you need. For example:
- Can couples share a unit if only one person needs care?
- What happens if one partner needs memory care in the future?
- Will there be separate care plans and fees, or do you offer a package for couples?
- Are we able to move within the community if our needs change?
- If we need to live separately, will there be opportunities for us to spend time together every day?
Several options are available for couples to live together in an assisted living community. If you and your partner want to take this route, it’s crucial to plan ahead. Seniors want to preserve connection and quality of life, and staying together in an assisted living community can help provide that.
