A woman nearing retirement is too plagued by anxiety, medical issues, her husband’s death, and lack of home roots to see her next steps. Advice columnist Eric Thomas offers her advice on retirement plan confusion.
Dear Eric:
I’m 61, widowed, and still work full time as a registered nurse in a very busy hospice house.
I lost my husband four years ago, and since then went through a medical scare twice, diagnosed with cirrhosis, sleep apnea and chronic anxiety, have bought and sold two homes, purchased a new car and created significant credit card debt twice.
When I retire, I won’t be able to afford my house, so I will need to move (again). I understand and admit these poor financial decisions were possibly my way of dealing with grief, but now I am at a crossroads where I have an opportunity to retire next year and finally be able to decide how and where I spend my time.
You see, during my 36 years of marriage, we moved 13 times. I really don’t have roots.
My problem is that I’m experiencing confusion over my retirement plans. I don’t know where to land during my retirement years. How do I go about figuring this out? Because of my medical issues, sometimes I need help and probably should live near my family. But who? I can’t wrap my head around this. But I need to decide soon because I will need to move when I sell my current home next summer.
I think I’m afraid to make another financial mistake. I also fear that this decision will be somehow final. What is your advice on my retirement plan confusion?
– The Next Move
Dear Move:
The first thing you’ll want to do is talk to a financial adviser, who can review your assets and debts and give you a concrete plan that will keep you financially solvent. This can help assuage your confusion over retirement plans and get some peace of mind. Medical issues and money woes can create a fog of anxiety that obscures the path forward. It’s hard to make wise decisions or to feel confident you haven’t made a mistake.
If you don’t know where to look for a financial adviser, ask friends or relatives if they work with someone they trust, or reach out to the National Association of Professional Financial Advisors (napfa.org). Your local senior center or public library will also likely have financial counseling resources available.
Also, talk to your family members about the upcoming decision and the options you’re weighing. They’ll be able to give you insight about the places they live, and their capacity for showing up for you when needed. This will give you a sense of what your post-retirement life can look like and give you better information to help you make your decision. Talk to your doctors, as well. If there’s specialized care you need, they’ll be able to advise you on how to connect with it in other areas.
Lastly, talk to friends in retirement communities about their experiences. You may find that one of those is an attractive and affordable option.
You don’t have to make these decisions on your own; indeed, it’s wiser not to. Keep asking for more information until you feel more surefooted. I understand that perhaps you feel that you’re backed into a corner right now. But I want to assure you that you can find a next chapter that brings you happiness and gives you a sense of freedom.
R. Eric Thomas (he/him) is a national bestselling author, playwright, and screenwriter. His accomplishments include “Eric Reads the News,” a daily humor column covering pop culture and politics, serving as the interim Prudie for the advice column “Dear Prudence,” and “Congratulations, The Best Is Over.”
Send questions to eric@askingeric.com or P.O. Box 22474, Philadelphia, PA 19110. Follow him on Instagram and sign up for his weekly newsletter at rericthomas.com.
©2025 Tribune Content Agency, LLC.
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