Lifestyle Asking Adult Kids To Reciprocate 10/16/2023 | By Amy Dickinson When grown kids become financially successful, should parents ask them to stop taking and start giving? This mother keeps giving but considers asking her adult kids to reciprocate. See what “Ask Amy” advises. Dear Amy: We have three sons. They are grown, successful, and professional, with equally successful wives. They come to stay with us, use our cars to see their friends, eat what we prepare, and never offer to reciprocate. Should we say something? I think they should offer to take their father and me out for a meal or otherwise reciprocate, but this feels like it would be an awkward conversation! Advice? – Susan in Oregon Dear Susan: You are the parents of these adults. You’ve given and given and continue to give. Yes, this might be awkward, but please don’t run from awkward. Many powerful insights have been delivered by people brave enough to initiate an awkward conversation. Because your sons don’t seem to have quite completed their childhoods, I suggest that you take this next step as a vital parenting lesson you have yet to impart, that there comes a time for adult kids to reciprocate. Here’s the message: “Guys, it’s time to step up. Now that you’re all adults, we really do expect you to reciprocate when we host you. We are happy to have you come home, but it’s time for you to take some of the burden off of us and assume it for yourselves. We would appreciate it if you’d at the very least treat us to a lunch or dinner out while you’re home. It would also be great if you offered to lend a hand while you’re visiting. There might be little house or yard chores you could help with, and we would be grateful if you offered.” In the tradition of the great personal advice columnists, Chicago Tribune’s Amy Dickinson is a plainspoken straight shooter who relates to readers of all ages. She answers personal questions by addressing issues from both her head and her heart. A solid reporter, Dickinson researches her topics to provide readers with informed opinions and answers – ranging from asking adult kids to reciprocate, to unhealthy romances and smothering love and mentally ill moms. Ask Amy, P.O. Box 194, Freeville, NY 13068. © 2023 by Amy Dickinson Click here to read more Ask Amy columns curated for a baby boomer audience. Read More Amy Dickinson