Lifestyle Happy Single Seniors 12/6/2023 | By Terri L. Jones While many adults want a partner after becoming widowed or divorced, others choose to remain unpartnered, and some have never tied the knot. Despite stereotypes, unpartnered people can experience plenty of joy and satisfaction, including happy single seniors. My grandmother was widowed in her early 30s. After her husband’s death, she took over his business, which was rare in those days. She also chose to remain single, also unheard of back then. She made the decision not to remarry perhaps because my grandfather was irreplaceable, but also because she valued her independence and didn’t want a man telling her how to spend her money. While my grandmother was an anomaly back then, nowadays there are an increasing number of older people following her same path, whether for financial reasons like my Granny or simply no need or desire to merge their lives with someone else’s. In 2023, 36% of those 65 and older reported being single (49% of women and 21% of men in that age group), and 3 out of 4 said that they weren’t even looking for a relationship of any sort. Why single seniors may choose to stay that way Recent research has found that singles value having more “me-time,” not having anyone tell them what to do and the ability to really focus on their goals. Other benefits include “their strong social ties, self-sufficiency, and a sense of purpose over their lifetime,” explained Elyakim Kislev, a professor and author of books including Happy Singlehood. Singles also experience more personal growth and less predictability in their lives than married people. “Less predictability can mean more possibilities, and that can be exhilarating,” Bella DePaulo, Ph.D., an expert on single people, told Psychology Today. In fact, older friends of mine who are either divorced or never married enjoy regular travel and recreational activities and have plenty of time to devote to their friends, aging parents, and causes that are important to them. Bottom line, singles have rewarding, interesting lives that are not at all lacking due to the lack of a spouse. Related: The pros and cons of senior romance Singleness does not equate to loneliness When you imagine an older man or woman who is without a partner, you may imagine someone who is sad and lonely. While that stereotype might be more accurate for people who are recently widowed or divorced, one study found that of those 65 and older who had never married, 46 percent said that loneliness was not a problem for them. And starting at age 40, satisfaction with the single life just gets better and better as you age, reports Geoff MacDonald, a psychology professor at the University of Toronto who researches relationships and singlehood. That satisfaction is partly because single seniors are satisfied with their own company. However, these seniors also don’t live a hermit-like existence. They typically spend more time with friends than their married counterparts do. And although they may not want a marriage or maybe even a relationship of any sort, many enjoy companionship that could (but doesn’t have to) lead to romance. When I asked my 86-year-old mother-in-law if she looked forward to meeting single men in her new independent living community, she told me it might be fun to find a male friend with whom to have dinner or enjoy a movie. But she was clear on the fact that she wasn’t looking for a relationship at this stage of her life. ‘Self-partnered’ implies satisfaction Recently, I read an article that called singles “self-partnered,” eschewing the negative stereotypes and implying a completeness and a satisfaction with being on your own. As someone who was happily “self-partnered” until age 49, I believe that term should become part of our vernacular! Read More Terri L. Jones Terri L. Jones has been writing educational and informative topics for the senior industry for over ten years, and is a frequent and longtime contributor to Seniors Guide.