The decision to move a loved one with dementia to a memory care community is typically made because of their progressive struggles with everyday life. However, caregiver stress is a common and valid reason, too.
Caregivers of people in later stages of dementia can provide as much as 283 hours of care per month, says the 2024 Alzheimer’s Disease Facts and Figures report from the Alzheimer’s Association. So much work and responsibility can take a heavy toll on caregivers. Over time, they may experience a state of physical, emotional, and mental exhaustion, dubbed caregiver burnout.
When a caregiver’s exhaustion reaches this stage, they’re not only hurting themselves, they may also be hurting the person in their care.
8 signs of caregiver stress that may indicate a need for memory care
Signs of caregiver burnout could indicate that it’s time for professional memory care for your loved one.
1. You’re exhausted.
The everyday tasks of caregiving can be physically draining. You help your loved one bathe and dress, make them meals, drive them to appointments, bring them back when they wander off, and so much more.
The emotional challenges can be even more challenging when you have to manage their confusion, paranoia, and outbursts. That exhaustion goes way beyond just feeling tired; it’s debilitating.
2. You’re irritable.
When you’re exhausted and you have little time for your own needs, you can more easily become impatient, frustrated, or angry toward your loved one and others. Not only might you snap over the big things but also those minor hiccups like Mom spilling a drink or having to wait a little too long at a doctor’s appointment.
3. You’re depressed.
The 2024 Alzheimer’s Association report found that dementia caregivers experience higher rates of depression than other caregivers. That increased rate of caregiver stress is likely due to the progressive nature of the disease, which requires constant care, says Elena Fazio, a health scientist administrator at the National Institute on Aging. Plus, constant anxiety over your loved one’s safety can lead to feelings of sadness and depression.
4. You’re withdrawing from people.
Caring for a parent with dementia is a fulltime job, leaving little time to see friends or other family members. At the same time, you may reach a point where you start choosing not to interact with others. Perhaps you feel that no one understands your situation or you’re simply too drained to reach out. The inevitable loneliness that results from this isolation can exacerbate the stresses of caregiving.
5. You’re self-medicating or overdrinking.
An NIH study found that caregivers who experience depression and social isolation as a result of their heavy burden will often seek relief from alcohol. Other caregivers may self-medicate when the stress of their responsibilities becomes unmanageable. They may use prescription drugs of their own or even those prescribed for their loved one. This solution for dealing with the situation can be dangerous for everyone involved.
6. You’re having problems sleeping.
If your parent is waking you up at night because they’re disoriented or agitated or getting out of bed to wander around the house, this disrupts your sleep as well. Even if they sleep through the night, the constant worry about their safety may cause you to lose sleep. Whatever the reason, poor sleep negatively impacts both your physical and mental health.
7. You’re unable to concentrate.
You’re so busy and distracted with everything that you have to do that you’re missing appointments and having difficulty with simple tasks like making a grocery list. When you can’t focus on everyday tasks, you may be putting your loved one at risk.
8. Your health is suffering.
Perhaps your appetite is waning and you’re losing weight – or you’re stress eating and not exercising, thus gaining weight. You’re not going to the doctor when you should or putting off important tests or procedures. The 2024 Alzheimer’s Association report says that 27 percent of dementia caregivers reported delaying or opting out of the medical care needed to maintain their own health. In fact, one in 10 caregivers report that caregiving has caused their physical health to get worse.
Next steps if caregiver stress becomes overwhelming
“Older adults with cognitive impairments require specialized care, which has led to the rapid growth of memory care units across the country,” says McKnight’s Senior Living, a media brand serving senior communities. To serve these clients, senior communities and service providers offer “mental health supports, healthier dining choices, obesity reduction programs, customized fitness routines and other brain-healthy interventions.” Such programs further benefit clients through easy access to social engagement, which is associated with better cognitive health in later life.
“The physical and emotional toll on caregivers can become overwhelming, and when they experience burnout and are unable to provide the necessary care, they may seek the support of a memory care community,” says Jessi Weldon, EVP of Primrose Retirement Communities. “In a memory care community, each team member has the ability to recharge after a shift whereas caregivers are on 24/7. Safety concerns also play a significant role.”
It’s impossible to predict when your loved one may need this higher level of attention. That’s why it’s so important to research memory care facilities early and have a gameplan in place.
You can also consult with local professionals and support groups such as the Alzheimer’s Association and your local Area Agency on Aging and USAging. Their knowledge and experience guide you and offer needed moral support, too.
When determining if your loved one is ready for memory care, you need to consider your own needs as well as theirs. If you’re experiencing caregiver burnout, you’re putting your own health and well-being at risk and compromising your ability to provide the care your loved one needs. Memory care could be a lifesaver for you both.
