11/27/2023 | By Amy Dickinson

A granddaughter’s TikTok posts included videos of her grandparents and their home, angering her grandmom and fueling a kerfuffle. See what advice columnist Amy Dickinson advises.

Dear Amy: 

This seems minor, but here goes: My granddaughter is 11. She is spunky and smart. Precocious.

Recently, she stayed with my husband and me for a few days. It was really a lot of fun.

However – she was using her phone fairly constantly to film things, including us (of course), and our pets. Harmless stuff and I didn’t mind at all.

Well … then I learned that she was posting a lot of these videos on TikTok. I learned this because she showed us.

I was not happy about this – at all – and I sat with her and asked her to delete all of the videos she had posted that were filmed at our house. I watched as she did this.

Tiktok logo. A grandma is annoyed at grandaughter's tiktok invading her privacy.

She’s upset, and my husband disagrees with my choice. Neither of us can decide whether to tell her mom (our daughter).

– TikTok-ed Off

Dear TikTok-ed Off: 

You did the right thing. Your granddaughter needs to learn about privacy and consent.

She also should not have a TikTok account (until she is 13).

Yes, you should talk to her parents. They might not even realize she has an account. Their daughter is old enough (and probably clever enough) to create and post a feature-length film. However, she is not old enough or mature enough to understand concepts like risk, privacy, and consent.

This is how she will learn.

In the tradition of the great personal advice columnists, Chicago Tribune’s Amy Dickinson is a plainspoken straight shooter who relates to readers of all ages. She answers personal questions by addressing issues from both her head and her heart. A solid reporter, Dickinson researches her topics to provide readers with informed opinions and answers – ranging from a granddaughter’s TikTok postings, to aging in place decisions, and surviving family members at a reunion. Ask Amy, P.O. Box 194, Freeville, NY 13068.

© 2023 by Amy Dickinson

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