Aging In Place

11/20/2023 | By Amy Dickinson

A couple believes that aging in place is unwise for their friend, and they want to encourage her to move. See what columnist Amy Dickinson advises.

Dear Amy: 

My husband and I have a friend in her early 70s whose husband is in his early 80s. He has dementia and will need a care facility soon. He knows that.

African-American senior couple smiling and discussing if aging in place is unwise.

She wants to stay in their home after he moves, but we believe this would be a mistake.

Should we share with her other options? How should we proceed?

– Concerned

Dear Concerned: 

You don’t note why you think aging in place is unwise for your friend or why she shouldn’t stay in her home after her husband moves, but – if she is healthy, a person in her early 70s likely can enjoy many years of independent living before making her own move.

In my opinion, staying in her home could be the very best thing for her to do – for now. If her husband moves, being in her home during the period of his decline could provide the sense of stability she needs.

If she asks for assistance or advice to review her housing options, you could be very helpful by researching local places and offering to tour them with her. Even if she decides not to move right away, being aware of her options will help her to make the decision later.

In the tradition of the great personal advice columnists, Chicago Tribune’s Amy Dickinson is a plainspoken straight shooter who relates to readers of all ages. She answers personal questions by addressing issues from both her head and her heart. A solid reporter, Dickinson researches her topics to provide readers with informed opinions and answers – ranging from aging in place decisions, to surviving family members at a reunion, and being an adult abuse survivor. Ask Amy, P.O. Box 194, Freeville, NY 13068.

© 2023 by Amy Dickinson

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