The progression of Alzheimer’s disease and other dementias is gradual. In the early stages, a person can often live independently. Soon, they may require a caregiver to attend to their needs. At some point, their needs may extend beyond what a caregiver can provide. When this happens, it may be time for memory care. A quality memory care community can provide for all their needs, ensuring their well-being and safety.
The gradual nature of dementia makes it challenging to know when the time is right to move from home with a caregiver to a specialized community. For answers, decision makers can look for physical and cognitive signs as well as caregiver stress in coping with the challenges.
It’s never easy moving someone with Alzheimer’s disease or other types of dementia to a specialized community. Your family member is comfortable in their home, and they can be reluctant to leave that well-worn recliner, the bird feeders outside their window, or the longtime neighbors who stop by with cookies or flowers from their garden. And you may also be feeling a deep sense of guilt about insisting that they do so.
By knowing and looking for indicators that it’s time for memory care, you can feel more assured in taking that next step.
First, what is memory care?
Memory care describes the type of long-term care that helps those with dementia or Alzheimer’s disease. Memory care is either offered at a stand-alone community, or as an add-on service at other senior communities.
Services and staff are designed specifically for those with Alzheimer’s or dementia. Memory care treatments are provided, as are meals and assistance with daily tasks such as bathing, dressing, and medication administration. Staff are trained to help manage residents’ fall risks, agitated states, confusion and disorientation, and other unique behaviors and challenges of this population. Residents also benefit from common areas where they can socialize with others.
More on memory care from Seniors Guide
Signs it’s time for memory care: Is the writing is on the wall?
Cognitive and physical signs can indicate that an individual is ready for professional care at a community.
Is the person frequently confused or disoriented? Confusion can put them at risk when they don’t take their medications properly or get lost on a leisurely stroll around the neighborhood. Do they have a difficult time communicating and withdraw from social situations? Do they often exhibit poor judgment? If they’re becoming agitated or having delusions, they could be putting others at risk as well.
Cognitive Signs Mom May Be Ready for Memory Care
Perhaps your mom or dad is having difficulty with everyday tasks such as grocery shopping or housekeeping. They aren’t eating properly, are having trouble toileting, or are falling repeatedly. They may be exhibiting unsafe behavior like leaving a door unlocked, a stove burner on, or wandering away from their home.
Physical Signs Mom may Be Ready for Memory Care
These signs may indicate that your loved one is ready for professional care at a memory care community.
Caregiver stress: You can’t do it all
As your parent’s caregiver, you are probably doing everything possible to allow them to remain in their home; however, over time, the cracks from that heavy burden will begin to show. If you’re experiencing anger, depression, difficulty sleeping, or you’re not taking care of your own emotional and physical health, you could be experiencing caregiver burnout.
Caregiver burnout is a state of physical, emotional, and mental exhaustion – common for caregivers, and especially those caring for family members with dementia. When your exhaustion reaches this stage, you’re not only hurting yourself, you could also be hurting your parent.
Caregiver Stress: Is It Time for Memory Care?
Taking the next step
When your loved one’s physical, cognitive, or emotional needs reach a point where they can no longer be handled at home, it’s time to put the guilt aside and do what’s best.
Memory care not only provides care and safety for your mom or dad, it also offers social opportunities and cognitive engagement. Most importantly, it can help improve the quality of life of a person with memory loss.
“Despite the benefits, families can sometimes be reluctant to take the step of moving their loved ones into memory care,” says says Jessi Weldon, EVP of Primrose Retirement Communities. “Guilt and fear of the unknown are significant barriers, as the difficulty of separating from a loved one can be overwhelming. … Additionally, families may fear the change in environment and worry about how their loved one will adapt to a new setting. Concerns about the quality of care and the potential impact on their loved one’s well-being can also contribute to reluctance.”
If you are having difficulty moving forward, you can seek advice and guidance from your loved one’s doctor or staff members at a memory care facility. These professionals can advise on whether it’s time to make the transition as well as help ease any anxiety your loved one may be feeling about the move. They may refer you to other families who have made the memory care decision who can share their experiences with you.
You can also consult with local professionals and with support groups such as the Alzheimer’s Association and your local Area Agency on Aging. Their knowledge and experience guide you and offer needed moral support, too.
Even when you’ve come to terms with your decision, you may get pushback from other family members. If they don’t see the progression of signs as closely as you do, you can provide them with updates, such as a list of issues or a daily journal. This will show them how the disease is progressing and make clearer the need for a higher level of care.
Making an informed decision
Are you stuck because of a parent’s resistance, other family members’ disagreement, or your own guilt? Step back and view the situation objectively so you can make an informed decision. If it really is time for memory care, this step will allow your loved one to be happy, healthy, and safe while enabling you to be a stronger support for them and for yourself and other family members. After all, isn’t that best for everyone?
